


Playing Dead

by who_la_hoop



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Poetry, Dubious humour, M/M, apologies all round, did I mention the bad humour?, let us not speak of the fact this consists of LIMERICKS (no really), sort of consent issues but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-08 14:08:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1944060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_la_hoop/pseuds/who_la_hoop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco plays a trick on his deadly rival. Harry is not impressed. Or is he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playing Dead

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Writcraft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writcraft/gifts).



> Written for the HD_Owlpost fest over on LJ for the unfortunate Writcraft.

Draco Malfoy decided one day  
That with Harry, that fucker, he’d play  
So he lay on his bed  
Pretended he was dead  
And vowed not to smirk, come what may.  
  
Harry Potter was called to the scene  
But his Auror instincts were too keen.  
 _That bastard’s not dead!_  
Were the words in his head  
 _He’s just playing a prank to be mean._  
  
Should Harry just let the joke go?  
He thought _yes_ – and then he thought _NO_!  
T’would be better all round  
To toss Malfoy to the ground  
So he hoisted him up: one, two, THROW!  
  
Draco, he uttered not a word  
Though he thought: _Merlin’s balls, what a turd!_  
He kept his smirk inside  
(Don’t forget, he had ‘died’!)  
And tried not to feel too absurd.  
  
Harry frowned at the failure of his plot  
Had Malfoy flailed or screamed? He had not!  
But a marvellous scheme  
Came to him, like a dream  
 _And I’ll do it_ , he thought, _NO MATTER WHAT!_  
  
He advanced on the ‘corpse’ double quick  
And his lips – once, twice, thrice – did he lick  
He bent down for a kiss  
(Daren’t close his eyes lest he miss)  
Then announced he intended to suck dick!  
  
Said Harry, “This necrophiliac urge  
Is one I no longer can purge!  
You are dead, so you see  
Your non-consent matters not to me  
Bwahaha! Cue the funeral dirge.”  
  
Draco, he let out a groan  
(Or perhaps it was more like a moan.)  
Harry’s words, far from irking  
Some uncanny magic were working  
(Yes, yes, yes, it was definitely a moan.)  
  
Harry paused and sat back on his heels  
Confused, full of so many feels  
Draco was a git  
Not to mention a tit  
But that moan . . . yes, it had its appeals.  
  
Harry’s hand ventured down to D’s fly  
And the pointy-chinned git he did cry  
“Merlin, yes! On your _knees_  
Oh please please, please please _please_.”  
And who was H.J. Potter to deny?  
  
Some time later they lay on D’s bed  
Potter’s arm under pointy-chin’s head  
T’was not what Harry’d intended  
(All his energy expended)  
But there was nothing he’d fain do instead!


End file.
